new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
These tits shall not be calmed
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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