So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
So many bounce houses so little time
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
