I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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