My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize