I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize