Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
