got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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