Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
