I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
