Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
is it fun? or sober?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
