That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
