I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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