if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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