Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize