see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
