I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
