Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
