toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
