I just cut my nipple shaving
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
