it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize