people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
