I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
