Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize