i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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