sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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