it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
