I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
