OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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