Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
