After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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