he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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