That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
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