their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
