Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
It's blow job season.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Randomize
