He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
