remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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