Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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