..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
