Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
