I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize