I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
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