no, he came in my armpit
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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