She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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