Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
whose ass print is on the piano?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
