Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
