I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
