My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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