i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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