The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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