so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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