Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
