He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
