Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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