Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
