I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
