My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
