ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
