I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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