It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
We are all done wearing pants today
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
