did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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