it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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