That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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