Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
