no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
