I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Why are your pants in the freezer?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize